I have nothing funny to say today.

I have nothing clever or funny to say so instead make fun of this picture. I think that's 270#.

Yesterday I C&J'd 270# for a PR (and 260# WITHOUT A PRESSOUT.) Glad my jerk is finally making progress again. MORE EXCITINGLY for me, I cleaned 300#. And it wasn't very hard. Seriously I went kind of ape shit when I made that lift. Today was crap, I was just beat. Power snatched 165#, power cleaned 225#. Tried to front squat but it wasn't happening. It's okay, I don't hate myself right now because I'm still excited about my 300# clean.

But then again, Donny Shankle snatches more than I front squat.

It's fine.

Nathan has a "Troll Me" sign on his forehead at all times.

Last night Nathan and I sat down to dinner at Chili's and within 3 seconds our waitress was trolling him. It was real good. She asked if she could get us some drinks, and Nathan said "Could I get a glass of water, please?"

To which she said "Nope."

WE'RE OFF AND RUNNING.

I finished my food a lot faster than Nathan (since I am the fastest eater in the world and Nathan is the slowest eater in the world,) so our waitress (HER NAME WAS KAYLA) asked if I'd like her to bring my dessert. I said no, I'd wait for Nathan, it should be about a half hour.

15 minutes later, she walked by, looked at Nathan's still thoroughly unfinished plate, LAUGHED, and walked away.

I loved every second of this.

P.S. Nathan didn't finish his dessert, he currently weighs 166#, I'm real fucking pissed about this.

Yesterday morning I snatched 80 and C&J'd 90 for some singles. In the afternoon I snatched 95 and C&J'd 121, for a PR. Only by 1kg, but it's 5kg more than I've C&J'd since early September. I'll take it. I think moving the bar into my fingertips for the jerk was a good idea. I see progress forthcoming.

Today I squatted 405#x2. I wanted the triple, but the second rep was a true grinder, took about 5 seconds from bottom of the hole to top. I'm still happy with it, it's a PR and I've never squatted over 400# for reps before. I also power snatch + snatched from knee 170#x3. I was hoping to do power snatch + power snatch from knee, but I ended up catching the second rep of every set in the hole. I'll take it.

Sunfish are stupid.

Firstly, this:


So, last night, I was at a table full of sunfish. No really. The Sunfish Face is a face originally implemented by Justin of 70's Big. He and Brent were here visiting, and they went to the aquarium. Justin encountered the giant sunfish, determined that it was retarded (it is,) and proceeded to make this face (Brent shown here):



Done properly, the Sunfish Face is accompanied by leaning slowly and aimlessly in one direction, tucking your arms close to your sides, and flicking your hands like useless little flippers.

I use this face whenever someone says something very stupid, obvious, or completely over my head. Since most things fall into one of these categories, I pretty much look like this all the time. Anyway, two of my good friends are in town for the Holidays, and last night we went to a coffeeshop. I told them about the Sunfish Face. We all began making it at different points during the conversation, but then, something so profoundly stupid happened (I don't remember what it was, but we were surrounded by hippies so it probably had to do with Occupying something) that we all made the Sunfish Face AT THE SAME TIME. Please understand, there were four people at this table, and only one of them (me) is retarded. One has a masters degree, one is about to finish his PhD, and one was a mechanical engineering student at Carnegie Melon, but he dropped out because he got fucking bored.

And there we were.

Just four sunfish drifting along in the sea of the world.

Aimless. Helpless

Outnumbered.

Flippers flicking pointlessly against the current.

So anyway yesterday was mostly crap for training, I snatched 185#, snatch high pull + hang snatched 195#, clean & jerked 225# for 3 singles, cleaned 245# and tweaked my knee pretty good. I racked 265# but didn't stand up, it didn't hurt much on the squat but the pull hurt and threw me off. I wrapped up my knees and tried to squat but the knee was feeling "funny" so I called it. I iced it and it's a little tender this morning but doesn't seem too bad. I'm change my jerk grip to less of a grip for a while...I tried it last night and it felt weird but I was definitely not inclined to press the bar, which is a huge problem for me. I'm hoping if I train it out of my fingers for a while it'll become natural and I'll actually be able to do a split jerk like a person who looks like they know how to do a split jerk.

I've been scraping ice off my windshield in the morning even though I live on the California coast.

Yeah I know it's only cold by Californian standards but get fucked I'm a Californian kthxbai.

Yesterday my friend, who is a bald headed Canadian fuck, trolled me in the most vicious, personalized way I've ever experienced. I'm both real angry and real impressed. First off, let me tell you that he is 5'7", 163, ripped as fuck, deadlifts 655# or something like that, has a really hot wife who deadlifts like 300# and still cooks dinner for him even though she could probably kick his ass. So this dude is trolling me merely by existing.

Anyway.

He owns a gym, and his gym shares the locker room with a really nice hotel. So he gets to use their hot tub and stuff. So he starts telling me that he met this really hot blonde chick about my age in the hot tub. And I'm like, great thanks bro, good to be reminded that I have no social life.

But he keeps going, because he is a fucking asshole.

He tells me he thinks she's my type. I remind him that she is in Canada.

He says she's a track athlete, seriously dedicated, doesn't really drink or party, etc. I remind him that she is in Canada.

He tells me he is probably going to see her again in the hot tub tomorrow. I REMIND HIM THAT SHE IS IN CANADA.

He tells me that he will tell her I'm not interested. At which point my brain goes "wait, is he actually trying to set me up with this girl?"

I remind him that she is in Canada...

Then.

He says.

Oh shit, I thought I told you...she's from the West Coast...Salinas, I think?

DAWN BREAKS IN THE DARK OF MY HEART.

A SOLITARY EMBER GLOWS, READY TO IGNITE AT HER GENTLE BREATH.

For about two fucking seconds. Then I remember that my friend knows where I live, and probably googled towns near it.

I. COULD. NOT. BE. MORE. TROLLED.

I hate Canada.

Anyway, yesterday I power snatched 175# for two singles, but caught the first one in the hole. Power cleaned 225# for a single, and took two attempts at 240# but caught them both in the hole. This is a new problem for me, normally when I power snatch/power clean I don't get under at all. I guess this is what happens when you start to get decent at the lifts, so I won't complain. I also front squatted 360# for a relatively easy 5# PR. I'll take it I guess.

Oh, and my friend the Bald Headed Canadian Fuck (BHCF) is trying to take credit for that PR.

Fuck.

Oh yeah, I have a blog.

I guess I've been lifting weights and stuff.

I snatched 102kg on Friday, for a 7kg PR, it's alright. I took about 20 maximal or near maximal attempts in total that workout, it's fine I don't need my traps to be functional anyway. Also I took $20 of Jon North's money because he bet me I couldn't make 102. Oh yeah, I train at Cal Strength on Fridays now, so that's pretty cool. It's a pleasant reminder that I am a pretty worthless weightlifter.

The next morning I squatted 400#x3, I'd been trying and failing to do a double for the last few weeks. 15# PR triple while cutting weight okay I guess.

Oh yeah, I'm cutting to 85kg. Only about 10kg more to go.

Did my first meet a few weeks ago, I went 80/112 as a very light 105 (95.3) I suck.

Yesterday I snatch + hang snatched 185# for 3 sets, clean & jerk + jerk 215# for 2 sets, and squatted 400#x1. It's good to know I can now snatch 185# like I used to snatch 175#, i.e. it's my "I will make this every day" weight, and it's good to know I can squat 405# even when I feel like shit and have a tension headache.

In other news, I still have the worst split jerk in the world.