Wednesday, December 21, 2011

I've been scraping ice off my windshield in the morning even though I live on the California coast.

Yeah I know it's only cold by Californian standards but get fucked I'm a Californian kthxbai.

Yesterday my friend, who is a bald headed Canadian fuck, trolled me in the most vicious, personalized way I've ever experienced. I'm both real angry and real impressed. First off, let me tell you that he is 5'7", 163, ripped as fuck, deadlifts 655# or something like that, has a really hot wife who deadlifts like 300# and still cooks dinner for him even though she could probably kick his ass. So this dude is trolling me merely by existing.


He owns a gym, and his gym shares the locker room with a really nice hotel. So he gets to use their hot tub and stuff. So he starts telling me that he met this really hot blonde chick about my age in the hot tub. And I'm like, great thanks bro, good to be reminded that I have no social life.

But he keeps going, because he is a fucking asshole.

He tells me he thinks she's my type. I remind him that she is in Canada.

He says she's a track athlete, seriously dedicated, doesn't really drink or party, etc. I remind him that she is in Canada.

He tells me he is probably going to see her again in the hot tub tomorrow. I REMIND HIM THAT SHE IS IN CANADA.

He tells me that he will tell her I'm not interested. At which point my brain goes "wait, is he actually trying to set me up with this girl?"

I remind him that she is in Canada...


He says.

Oh shit, I thought I told you...she's from the West Coast...Salinas, I think?



For about two fucking seconds. Then I remember that my friend knows where I live, and probably googled towns near it.


I hate Canada.

Anyway, yesterday I power snatched 175# for two singles, but caught the first one in the hole. Power cleaned 225# for a single, and took two attempts at 240# but caught them both in the hole. This is a new problem for me, normally when I power snatch/power clean I don't get under at all. I guess this is what happens when you start to get decent at the lifts, so I won't complain. I also front squatted 360# for a relatively easy 5# PR. I'll take it I guess.

Oh, and my friend the Bald Headed Canadian Fuck (BHCF) is trying to take credit for that PR.



Me said...

3 stars excellent

Brian said...

pretty good.

I might go hiking on Saturday up a mountain.

there will most likely be ice and snow.

it will be real cool.

I will take my dachshund with me, and take lots of pics so you can see how a 18lb dog can handle the cold that cali people complain about.

inb4 coolstorygetfuckedbrian

well, c-ya

Tsypkin said...

Uhh hey Brian Dachshunds are German okay Germany gets cold okay he can probably drink more beer than me too okay he probably wants to put me in a concentration camp OKAY.

What's his name?

Brian said...

His name is Waldo

this is him last weekend at the top of a shorter local hike

Tsypkin said...

Seems legit I like his face what's he bench bro?

Brian said...

I think he only does pushups

Tsypkin said...

It's fine.

osatts said...

Trolling you is too easy, coach. BTW have you seen the trailer for The Hobbit? You look amazing!

Tsypkin said...

Trolling me is not easy. That's why I'm impressed. Most people can't pull it off because I just don't give a fuck.

And I KEPT TELLING PEOPLE that someone would eventually make a documentary about me, but they wouldn't listen.