Putting out fires.

Alright, it's time to admit it: my body fucking hurts.

Every time I press my left shoulder flares up, and it's gotten to the point where I can't really mobilize it properly because it causes weird pain throughout the lateral shoulder capsule. If I try to squat, Olympic lift, push press, or walk up fucking stairs my knees scream. Sometimes they hurt like hell when I get out of my car. My back aches every morning when I wake up.

I'm twenty-two. Somethings not right.

I've tried a lot of different things in a lot of different combinations. Mobility has been a constant. I've tried icing, resting, doing only certain movement variations, etc...all of them work, to a point, but nothing seems permanent. I think it's time to do something that really, really scares me. Something I haven't done in a long time.

I'm going to rest. Completely. For a month.

Until June 6th 2011, I am not going to train.

I am terrified. I'm scared of losing all my strength. I'm scared of getting fat. I'm scared of not doing the thing which has been the glue holding my life together for the past 8 years. But I'm going to do it. At the time which I would normally train, this is what will be going down.

Myofascial Release

1. Tensor Fasciae Latae, 2-3 minutes per side

2. Quads, 2-3 minutes per side

3. Glute/high hamstrings, 2-3 minutes per side

4. Gastrocs, 2-3 minutes per side

5. Spinal erectors/rhomboids/all that other stuff in there/thoracic extensions, 3 minutes

6. Lats, 2 minutes per side

7. Pecs, 2 minutes per side

Stretching

1. Hip flexor PNF, 6 sets per side of 5 second contraction/10 second stretch

2. Hamstring PNF, 6 sets per side of 5 second contraction/10 second stretch

3. Glute grind with distraction, 2-3 minutes per side

4. Elevated Pigeon stretch 2-3 minutes per side

5. Overhead lat stretch PNF, 6 sets per side of 5 second contraction/10 second stretch

6. Pitcher stretch PNF, 6 sets per side of 5 second contraction/10 second stretch

Mobility WOD

2 per day, one upper body, one lower body

Icing

Yes.

If this doesn't work, then I don't know what comes next. Sometime in this month I'm going to try and get a PT appointment with Kelly up at San Francisco CrossFit. It's worth my time and money.

Oh, and since I won't be able to use training as an outlet: I'm going to write. A lot. About training, about life. I'll even write poetry.

Yeah, I fucking write poetry. I'm pretty good at it sometimes. Big deal, wanna fight about it?

Look, it's late. Here's a poem I wrote a while back. Goodnight.

Once

I believed in answers

Now even questions elude me

And you have nothing to say

Words slip through my lips

Like water through clenched fists

Tight as I may grip

They're gone

And there is nothing you or I can do to save them

So I bare my bones to the fire

Having long since learned

That the heat may burn me

But it will never return me

To the ashes from whence we came

I am no phoenix

To be reborn in glory

I am it's shadow

To be forgotten in the brightness

Of my own blinding light